Ian Gaines is the media manager at Erickson Immigration Group, where he is the also the creator and executive producer of the Immigration Nerds weekly podcast covering the latest immigration news in the cross-section of academia, culture, and policy. He is a 2014 graduate of University of Chicago, where he was a football student-athlete.
The UAA “Conversations About Race and Racism” series seeks to lift the voices of people of color and recognize the challenges faced in both athletics and academics at the collegiate level. By sharing personal stories, we hope to elevate the conversation about race to raise awareness and bring about change.
Adjusting to Being A Student-Athlete at UChicago
“I was a Black athlete at an academic institution where students viewed academics as the only thing that matters. People wondered how I, or anyone, could take time out to do something in addition to academics. They assumed that meant I was not serious about my academics,” Gaines recalled. “When I went to a history class for the first time, I was one of the only Black people in the room. We went around and said our names and what we did. Once I said I played football, the whole atmosphere changed. It was if they were saying, ‘Now I know why you are here. You are not a real student. You are just here because of sports.’ This was in spite of the fact that there are no athletic scholarships at Chicago or any other (NCAA) Division III schools.”
Being perceived as lesser of a student had a profound effect on him. “I felt pressure every time I was in class due to my Blackness. Every time I raised my hand, I was thinking that I better get the answer right because if I get it wrong, people will think, ‘Of course he got it wrong.’ I didn’t know how much of that was in my head. I would get subtle looks from people and wonder if they were looking at me or through me. I was constantly calculating these things in my head,” he revealed. “Whether it was real or not, it was still happening in my experience. People who do not look like me are not worried if they get an answer wrong. They just move on. I always felt like I was carrying my identity and my people on my back, always needing to prove something. That was what my freshman and sophomore years were like. As I got to my junior year, I stopped worrying about those things and was confident that I knew what I knew.”
It took Gaines those first years to gain his footing in classes. “I think I exude respect for myself and others, but at first, I was hesitant to even speak up. Part of that was dealing with implicit bias. In a philosophy class, we had to break into groups. My group included two Indian students, one Asian student, and two white students. When the professor said that someone needed to lead the discussion on the reading, all the heads looked straight toward the white guy,” he recalled. “It is not something overt, but if you are perceptive, you pick up on these things. I knew that it was not a conscious thing on the part of the other students in the group, but being Black, I really notice these things.”
The intensity of being a student-athlete was something he was constantly aware of in his first couple years of college. “Other kids had their homework, readings and finals, and some time to hang out. I had all that in addition to football practice, meetings, workouts, and game-planning for WashU. I had to know the information in my classes and my opponents’ pass coverages. I just had a discomfort with the atmosphere,” he pointed out. “For Black students in particular, there is an extra weight you carry being at such an academically rigorous institution where there still are not many of us. You feel like a pioneer of sorts, so you want to do it right and represent correctly. As a Black student-athlete, you are trying to be a positive representative while balancing social and cultural pressure to succeed in addition with others’ perceptions that you don’t belong there or are only there because of affirmative action. I found that ironic since I was balancing more things than most students there and maintaining a high grade-point average, not to mention they weren’t representing their entire heritage and lineage.”
Not in a Box
“My experience is one of nuances, made up of the complexities of my thoughts. I can love Jay-Z, Kanye West, Tame Impala, weird 1950s romance movies, and movies like “Juice” (1992) and “Friday” (1995) all at once. My belief is whatever is dope is dope. It is okay to tap into different areas of interest, whether it is European or African or something like anime no matter who the originators are,” Gaines explained. “I don’t feel pigeon-holed into only liking things my people created. I never felt the pressure to like what others thought I should like. I do not live in a box.”
He thinks this age of technology has helped people become more familiar with other cultures. “People are becoming more accepting of the complexities of human beings. For my generation and those who are younger, cultures are blending,” he described. “My roommate is from India. With the internet, we grew up with similar experiences and shared cultures. We learn some slang used in other countries in real time, while still having a unique way of saying things. We had some slang in Philly that was just a Philly thing. We are a combination of all these things.”
Challenges on a Predominantly White Team
“On a roster of 70 guys, there were maybe five Black guys. What I struggled with was to get cool with teammates, we had to do some basic Black stereotype. Someone would say, ‘Come on Ian, you can dance.’ I do like dancing, but I don’t feel like exploiting my Blackness or becoming a caricature of myself. Don’t point me out. I dance for me, not for you,” he commented. “I had amazing teammates and I never had any issues personally with any of them. At the same time, I was not fully embraced or in the inner circle. I felt that in order to achieve that status, I would have to do some performative stuff, that the joke would have to be on me to be accepted.”
He believed strongly there was a line he was not willing to cross. “I am not too proud. I can take jokes and make them, but I wasn’t going to lower myself or do something demeaning to make them feel comfortable. The only time I was brought into the conversation was when the topic had to do with Black issues. That is not me. I am a full, complex person and my mind operates on that very level. Some people just want a narrow version of me or anyone who looks like me,” he remarked. “To this day, I never fault any of my teammates, we were all young and they may not have grown up around Black people and never been exposed to their varied experiences, interest and complexities. With many of them, we never reached a deeper level of understanding each other because I required acceptance as a man first and foremost, not simply a two-dimensional stereotype. Some understood and I appreciated that, but most could not meet me there at that base level. I don’t want to be part of any group where I have to lower my humanity and my sense of self.”
Advice for Other Black Athletes
“Find a supportive network. Find people who share your values and who have similar experiences as you. Then just get together and talk about what’s going on with classes, relationships, or campus life. It is powerful to have that outlet, so you don’t feel alone,” he recommended. “You don’t have to go through your experience by yourself. There are other people going through the same things. You may have a sixth sense and pick up social cues that no one else seems to get. Don’t fight that or make yourself think there is something wrong with you. Embrace that sensitivity. People may try to convince you that it is not happening, but you know what is real. Your instincts are correct.”
In spite of the hurtful comments and actions of others, Gaines stresses the importance of setting your sights on what you want to accomplish. “Don’t harp too much on your identity, whether it is man, woman, straight, gay, Black, etc. That shouldn’t be the dominant focus in your mind as you go through life. There will always be bias. You can get caught up in a cycle of letting it dominate your thoughts, then you start spinning your wheels,” he described. “Focus on your task, that class and that paper. Don’t always feel like you are answering the question as a Black woman representing every Black woman in the country because that is a huge weight. It is natural to feel that way, but when you concentrate on the task at hand, the representation will take care of itself. Do quality work, be a good citizen, and everything else will work in your favor. You can be that positive example once you let go of trying to be the ‘example.’”
Role of Allies
“Most of the issues come from a group mentality. People’s IQ’s drop by 20 percent in a group setting and we all tend to diminish ourselves to the basic common denominator. I want an elevated conversation. Individually, my teammates and I had great discussions and saw the humanity in one another,” he stated. “We were literally like brothers on the field. It is possible to have that same tight bond outside of athletics and in the real world, but it requires empathy. When we know each other’s pain and experience, we gain understanding, which leads to us being willing to be in the relationship for the long haul.”
Gaines thinks there are two steps to being a great ally. “Come in with an open mind and listen to people of color. Stopping there isn’t enough. I would ask that after listening, you speak to other non-Black people and share what you learned without us around. Have your white only conversations about these issues. We are not the ones who need to change. Others have to make steps in the right direction,” he instructed. “Your friends and family will listen to you long before they will listen to me. When you hear something that is biased or even slightly racist, call them out, but not in an off-putting way. You can say, ‘What you said is not really true. That stereotype is not true.’ Be patient with that person and understanding. You should not expect anyone to come around to new ideas in that exact moment.”
He finds the delivery to be as important as the message. “Many allies mean well, but they mess it up and turn people further away by trying to cram social justice down their throat. Talking about white privilege and white tears is not efficient. No human being is going to respond positively to that onslaught. It just makes them double down,” he communicated. “Allies need to bring a layer understanding for their white friends that they want their Black friends to experience. Others will be far more receptive to your point when you approach them with empathy and patience. You are not going to get everybody to see things your way and that is okay. That person is on their own personal journey and may just never see it. Don’t continue putting your energy into showing that person that we are all equal. Work on the people who show glimmers of reception. That helps all of us out.”
Role of Teams
“Being teammates is a very interesting and complex relationship. You are in the trenches with them, running wind sprints, and pushing your limits to be the best player you can be. Other times, it requires being someone they can depend on off the field. I had a roommate who tore his ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) twice. I had to help him get to the lunch table,” he recollected. “When you get to know each other on a personal level, those relationships and bonds strengthen. It could mean having an open forum early in the year after practice or at dinner time. Just have guys talk about their experiences. This allows people to share in a heartfelt way.”
Taking that point further, he suggests having these types of discussions once a month or at least once a semester. “Kick back to talk about what is happening in the world. There will be a difference of opinion, but you get to hear each other’s point of view from their personal truths, allowing for greater understanding. It would allow everyone to see things from another perspective and add to your overall knowledge base. Resist living in intellectual silos, it weakens your own argument, and you miss out on potentially informative points from the other side” he said.
Working in Immigration
Gaines jokes that he was surprised people were listening to his immigration podcast when he first started it. “I built the media department at the firm and it has allowed me to be able to talk with a wide array of people across the country and the world, including many thought leaders who share their experiences and expertise. So many people go through different forms of oppression. We can’t fight each other on who suffered more and why. It is not the oppression Olympics. Infighting only derails the mission toward equality. We are branches together, but twigs apart,” articulated Gaines, who is transitioning to crypto related content in addition to his immigration work.
Read Gaines’ “Building Black Wealth with Satoshis and Cash App”
He recognizes the opportunity he has to help bring about change working at his immigration firm. “I have this platform to talk to the smartest people of different ethnicities and backgrounds on a constant basis. As a Black person, I have been stopped by the police for no reason so when I am talking to a Muslim person about a travel ban or being discriminated against at the airport, I may not have the same experience, but I know the feeling of being judged without any provocation,” he expressed. “It is amazing to see similarities in lived experiences between different cultures. It is unifying. The same goes for gender inequality when it comes to hitting certain glass ceilings. Inequality is strikingly similar in the feelings it evokes even if it comes out in so many different ways and flavors. It is shared by all those who experience it.”